I've been doing a lot of reading on business lately and one of the most profound exercises that I've come across in a while is the "primary aim" exercise outlined in Michael Gerber's E-myth Revisited book.

And while I don't care to share all of the personal details that the exercise really encourages you to squarely look at, one of the best outcomes of doing the exercise was articulating a set of things that I truly believe are important.

The essence of my primary aim that I walked away with from the exercise are the three "G"s:

Be Grounded

It all starts with having a set of guiding principles, values, and core beliefs that are grounded in meaning and purpose.

For me, these guiding principles are:

  • Prioritize your own health first.
  • Prioritize relationships: For me, this means cultivating a non-average marriage and be emotionally available to the kids.
  • Strive to achieve freedom in how I direct my time, energy, and focus.

Picking the right set of principles to help direct your life is the first order of business.

Be Genuine

Be genuine in the truest sense of the word. Not in what we say, but in how we act.

Let our actions be an outward manifestation of our guiding principles.

No, we won't be perfect. No one is perfect. But that shouldn't stop us from trying to be genuine.

Give First

Each person hears different things when they hear the word "give", like financial giving, volunteering, or whatever else that might come to mind.

What I intended to state with the word "give" is how we direct our time and energy.

We should be generously giving as a default state in any relationship, whether that's our relationship with the kids, spouse, or a non-person like a community of people, classroom, church, organization, whatever.

Because it is when we show up and give first by being present and being the one who raises that hand or the one who speaks up, we encourage others to do the same to collectively create a better experience for everyone.

This relates to my previous post on how we should be giving selflessly in our relationships.


Thanks for reading this very personal entry. If you haven't done this kind of thought exercise in a while, I highly recommend it.

I found it to be very enlightening, reinvigorating, and helped me reorient myself in a way that I haven't felt in years.

These questions might help you get started:

  • What do you want out of life?
  • What are your guiding principles and values?
  • What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?

The Three Gs to Guide Your Life